Matilda and the Alien

Matilda laid very still in her bed. She listened as hard as she could, waiting for the sound of her mom and dad’s bedroom door to click shut. She felt like she had been laying in bed forever. She had her pink flashlight under her pillow, and had put her shoes and coat under her bed where her mom wouldn’t see them.

There it was - the click of the door. She laid there a few minutes more, just in case. Then, when she couldn’t hear anything else, she very quietly got up. She dug her shoes and coat out and put them on, got her pink flashlight from under her pillow, and then, as quietly as she could, opened her window. She was glad that they didn’t have two stories in their house. She climbed over the window sill and shut it, making sure she put a little rock under it so it wouldn’t shut all the way.

Matilda ran across the yard and snuck through the gate. Behind her house was a big field full of really tall wheat. She stopped at the edge and looked down the rows. She took a big breath, turned on her pink flashlight and walked into the wheat.

Matilda walked straight down the row for a while. She turned right when she saw a purple ribbon, then left when she saw another one. Pretty soon her flashlight shined on the spot where the wheat was gone. She walked out into the flat circle, nervous because she thought it might be gone.

But it wasn’t! It was still sitting there, shiny and round and sparkly!

She had seen weird lights and heard a little “poof” three nights ago. She had been very frightened, especially when she heard a tapping on her window. But, she was more curious than scared, and when she went to the window she saw a big pair of even more scared eyes. The little alien was only as tall as her knees, and he was blue and hopped everywhere. He was the nicest alien Matilda had ever met, but she hadn’t met any other aliens.

He told her that he was flying home in his little ship when it crashed into Matilda’s wheat field. He had run out of green beans, which is what made his little ship fly. Matilda’s mom was surprised when Matilda started asking for green beans for dinner. She didn’t see Matilda scoop them into a little bag every night!

The little spaceship door opened, and the little blue alien came out. Matilda pulled a bag of green beans out of her pocket, and the little alien took them and put them into a little hole in the bottom of his ship. Then he ran back into it, and all of a sudden the lights came on and it started humming. His spaceship was working again!!!

He came back out and gave Matilda a big hug and thanked her for the green beans. He had enough to get all the way home now. He went inside again and closed the door, then waved out of the window. The spaceship floated into the sky, spitting out green bubbles. Then it made a squeak and shot away into the sky. Matilda waved goodbye until she couldn’t see it any more.

Drowning

I feel like I could drown
I can’t see the ground
From here
I can’t see where to go
How to get back home

And I feel like I can’t get through
What can I do to find you
I need you now
More than ever before

*I’m dying inside
There’s nowhere to go
Why don’t you help
See that I need your hand

I feel like it’s not enough
What I do isn’t good
Enough for you to
Answer me

Where

Where do you go
When the loneliness grows
So thick that you
Can’t see through

Where do your turn
When the reflection in the mirror
Is the only one you
Can talk to

*When there’s a hole in your heart
And a sigh on your lips
And the road up ahead
Looks so blue
When you look all around
But you can’t hear a sound
You’re crushed, tell me
Who comforts you

Where do you step
When all that you see
Are the rocks that fall
Under your feet

Where do you hide
When all the inside
Of your soul
Hurts way too deep

*

There’s no sun
Only rain
There’s no smile
Only pain
And you feel like
You could drown

*

Tell me where
Tell me who

Forever

*It's been years
Since we first met
Time stood still
Hasn't moved yet

We're still holding hands
As we walk side by side
It's just you and me
For all of time

**And I still love you
Like the first day
I still need you
What can I say
You are my knight
Stepped out of my dream
Together forever
You're all that I need

No matter the time
That may have gone past
I'll stay with you
We'll always last

**

We belong together
Forever
Til the skies fade away
We'll stay

**
*

Music

jumping/tapping
dancing/laughing
crying/sighing
singing/dreaming
anger/sorrow
love/loss
inside/outside
escape/contain
breathing/gasping
power/weak
all/nothing

The Box

The box on the shelf was pretty big, but it blended in quite well. Very ornate, it was a misture of styles and clutures - as if the artist had taken a piece from every place and person and thing on earth and used it to make this box. It was a beautiful box.

When I first got it, I kept it in a prominent spot and always open. It's hard to find things to put in a box when the box is of so much more value. Overtime, the importance of the box diminished. Soon, I was able to find things to put in it, then I started locking it to hide the stuff inside. As more time passed, the box was moved to the shelf, then pushed to the side for newer and seemingly more important things. I actually forgot it was there, only noticing it when I had to dust the shelf.

One day an earthquake hit. It wasn't a big one, but just enough to knock things around. It mainly left a lot of broken glass on the ground. It also knocked down the box. I saw it there, its lock cracked and the lid slightly open. I stopped what I was doing and carefully picked it up. It didn't seem to have any damage, but I looked it over until I was sure. I carefully carried it out of the room and put it on the entry table, taking everything else away. The thought of it being ruined made me realize how much more I really did value it over all of the other broken things. I cleaned it up , emptied it out and left it open on the table - the most prominent spot in my home. Nothing fits in it and it will never be closed. I realized that the best part of the box was on the outside.

For S.A.W.

An empty room
A breaking heart
I loved her
Right from the start

How can I tell
A sadness so deep
When she closed her eyes
For eternal sleep

The words you say
Don’t comfort me
Unless it happens to you
You’ll never see

I look up above
It’s so hard to trust
But in the darkest hour
I know that I must

He’ll see me through
While I wait for the day
It all becomes clear
The reason I pray

Roads

There comes a time in every person's life that there is a choice to make. It was my time.

I felt as though I was standing in the wild. In my mind I could see thick trees and shrubs tangled on all sides, with two roads cut through. Left or right?

I sat there with this image in my head, oblivious to my surroundings. Neither answer was any better or worse than the other. Right would keep things the same - which wasn't a bad thing - and left would change it. Change isn't had, it's the unknown down that road that always makes one hesitate. Status quo isn't messy. It's safe, albeit sometimes boring. Change? Well, it changes things.

I suppose it boils down to opportunity and if you're willing to risk failure or pain to take it. Right is ignoring the wonderful possibilities, while left risks experiencing the mistakes. Left is different and adventurous. Right is safe.

I have to leave the clearing. I have to pick a road.

feel

lean in and let go
with a look
and a touch
hearts beat
breath deep
don't wait
take the bait
close your eyes
kiss me

Questions

Do you ever wonder why God lets certain things happen? I’m not talking about world hunger, but about personal things. Like whey he brings certain people into your life.

My favorite musician (at this time) is singing about love. Another question – why does it seem to elude some people?

There is a little old couple sitting by the pond. They are both in their motorized scooters, but they are laughing and happy. I am sitting by myself on a bench watching them. They can’t walk very well, probably loosing their sight, yet they seem so happy.

I should know the answer. I know in my head that I should have this same God fill my heart completely full. So why is there a hole that I can’t seem to fill? With all of my “Christian” knowledge, it should be easy. But, I want to be like that little old couple. To love and laugh despite my scooter.

So, this brings me to my final – and quite loaded – question. Does it make me a “bad Christian” when it seems that only the human aspect can fill the hole?

Emotion

The room was stark white. The walls, floors and furniture all had a cold, sanitary feel to them. Everything was sharp edges and hard surfaces. Bright light seemed to come from everywhere, reflecting and blinding. I moved the furniture around every so often, always facing the back of the room. The only thing I could not move was The Chair.

The Chair sat in the middle of the room, firmly rooted in the floor. It, too, was white, but not as hard. Compared to the rest of the room, it was like floating on a cloud. It was cushioned with a high back, sitting on a round white carpet. In spite of its comfort, I only sat in it when the pain of the other chairs became too great. For The Chair faced The Door.

The Door was black, almost like the night sky in the room of white. My eyes could not look at it - the color so jarring that it made my eyes water. The Door had been closed for many years, for when it opened it showed the color of pain. I ignored it, willing it to somehow become white like the rest of the room, but it continued to mock me with its dark hue.

One day, as I sat upon one of the hard chairs at the angular desk, I heard a knocking. It was like a gunshot in the silent room, jarring me from my thoughts. My heart jumped, and I spun around to look at The Door. Maybe I had imagined it, but it was so loud. I sat there, staring at the black surface. There was another knock. It was a real sound on a real surface, and I slowly stood. I walked to The Chair and sat, wondering if it would happen again. One more knock.

My breath short, I walked towards it. I was afraid to open it, afraid that the red would come streaming in to stain the white room. I was afraid not to open it. So I did. I opened The Door. A yellow light rushed in, bathing the room in its soft glow. I stepped back from The Door and allowed the fresh air to wash over me.

Just as suddenly, the light turned to red and was sucked out of the room. The Door slammed, sudden silent. I backed up and fell into The Chair.

It was red now.

Tonight

Watching you leave
Go down the road
No more to love
No more to hold

Everything's silent
Everything's still
Living without you
May use all my will

You're leaving me tonight
There's nothing I can do to win this fight
I'm standing all alone
Full of sorrow
My heart lost its home
You're leaving me tonight

Love is so fleeting
The heart turns to stone
I'll pick up the pieces
Here on my own

You're leaving me tonight
There's nothing I can do to win this fight
I'm standing all alone
Full of sorrow
My heart has lost its home

Why do you have to go
Can't I make you see
That everything about you
Is everything I need

You're leaving me tonight
There's nothing I can do to win this fight
I'm standing all alone
Full of sorrow
My heart has lost its home
You're leaving me
Tonight

Taste of Freedom

On his recent vacation, a friend of mine said that - while drinking a delicious strawberry margarita - he decided that strawberries taste like freedom. (Fresas saben a libertad)

It probably sounds like a really random phrase uttered while drinking. But if you knew that he had recently ended a long relationship with someone who was extrememly allergic to strawberries, it would make sense.

That, of course, made me begin thinking what freedom was to different people. Does it taste like a favorite food you couldn't eat? Feel like the ocean breeze rushing across your face? Smell like spring in a forest? Is it just the welcome absence of a knot in your shoulders.

Maybe freedom is the ability to hand your heart to someone and know that they will treasure it. Like knowing that you can eat strawberries without any fear.

Edge

I begin where
the world ends

Alone at the edge
my soul cries
my heart dies

I'm sinking back
pull me in
to the light

Feel the sun
away from night
back to life